There are some things that I don’t mind sharing. Then there are things that are just too sensitive to go into, but when it comes to glorifying God, I am reminded that my life is not my own. At the end of the summer, July 2021, I made one of the most difficult decisions I have had to make in my entire life. I had to trust God with one of my greatest treasures…my one and only son.
Dear Reader, as you know, this blog site is branded Looking for God #HEISEVERYWHERE, so please allow me to share with you how I found God…in the dream.
My beloved son is physically away from me. He is 15 years old and a blessed treasure. It has been mostly him and me his entire life. His earthly and biological father named him Micah. Though his reasoning for naming him Micah is not Biblical, his name is. Micah: Prophet; Sees all. I gave him his middle name which means “intelligent,” and that he is! He carries his father’s last name. We’ve been through everything together, thick and thin. We’ve bumped heads, and we’ve been inseparable. I love my son most under God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and would die for him!
This testimony is shared between 2-3 people, my fiancé Leo, Micah, and me. Scripture reminds us repeatedly that everything is established under heaven at the word or testimony of two or three witnesses. We are the two to three witnesses who testify that God hears, is compassionate, is near to the brokenhearted, and answers prayers.
Recently, I have been working on entrepreneurship. My small business is Ebony Elice Fashion “Because IT Should Fit YOU!” Last night, I was making my rounds to fabric stores. The last stop was far but took me within the general area of where my son is. When I initially made the tough decision that I mentioned earlier, Leo, my son, and I were on the phone together. I cried during that call, and I cried during the call that followed that was just between Leo and me. It wasn’t just a cry but a lament. It felt as if my son had died and would never come back again, that I would never see him or hear his voice again. Let’s just sum it up by saying that I felt emotionally destroyed. By faith, I knew he would come back again.
It has not been easy for me or for Micah. It is probably the most drastic change of our lives because this time, it’s longer-lasting and gives off the feeling of permanence. Despite all of that and after the 1+ hour-long ugly cry over the phone, I had been doing kinda okay and had finally gotten to the point where I could answer friends, family, and church members and tell them where Micah is. The closest to me know the details. Yeah…I was kinda okay and thought I was okay until I was so close to Micah physically but could not see him, touch him, hold him, or squeeze him. The emotions came. The tightness and lump in the throat came, but most importantly, the crying out to God came.
I PRAYED!!!! I cried out to God with all my heart and every piece of me in spirit and in truth while I was driving to my last stop before making the 1-hour drive home. I asked God to keep, protect, and make a way for my son, to comfort him, to watch over him, to sing over him while he sleeps, and to give him a dream that will let him know that I am CLOSE and LOVE him VERY much! After the prayer, Leo called, and I told him how I was feeling and that I’d prayed that God would let Micah know that I was close and that I love him.
This morning while eating breakfast at a restaurant and talking to Leo over the phone, Micah texted me! I love it when my son calls, texts, and sends me pictures! I love hearing from him! My sweet baby asked how my day had been so far and told me about his video game success. He’s doing such a wonderful job with his video games, gaming channel and art channel. He’s doing a wonderful job and has so many subscribers and likes! Most of the time, he’s playing a video game in his free time, even when we’re on the phone together. Today, he was playing a particular game on which he’d beat a record! We expressed missing each other as usual. Not being sure of what emotional reaction would occur from me or from Micah, I sought godly counsel from Leo to see what he thought about my sharing with Micah that I was nearby last night. Leo didn’t see it being any issue, so I did. I texted Micah, being transparent with him about how I was so emotional and near tears last night because I was so close to him but couldn’t see, touch, or hold him. He told me that he plans to visit me for Thanksgiving and prays that he will be able to do so. What he told me next had me crying, snotting, and praising God in the restaurant! Hold on to your spiritual seatbelt!
My sweet baby told me that he had a dream last night…that we were playing the game together. It was the same game that he was playing when he texted me, but that detail wasn’t important. The news that rocked my world was that God answered my prayers within hours! Micah went on to text that he forgot 90% of his dreams but can never forget the one with me in it.
I’m so overcome right now that I can hardly type this! God is so good!!! Because I’m struggling for further words, let me just give you all some scriptures:
Psalm 34:18 NIV (David) “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
John 4:24 NIV (Jesus speaking) “God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”
1st Peter 5:7 NIV (The Apostle Peter to elders and young men) “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Psalm 30:5 NIV (A psalm. A song of David for the dedication of the temple) “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”
Matthew 7:7-8 NIV (Jesus speaking) “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Colossians 1:15-23 NIV (Apostle Paul speaking of the supremacy of Christ) “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation- if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.”
God knows how I feel. HE is a parent. HE knows, and I trusted HIM to do what HE did. HE is the one who holds us together, our family together, no matter what, no matter the physical distance. Scripture shares that HE will gather all his sheep together one day. This will be on a much larger scale than just one household. God is very real and very present, and HE cares. If you don’t know HIM for yourself, get to know HIM. If you feel distant from God, seek him with your whole heart and in spirit and in truth! The same amount of energy it takes to not believe in God is the same amount of energy it takes to believe in God. It is as simple as a made-up mind. We have free will to choose God. Romans 10:9-13 NIV says, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the scripture says, ‘Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.’ For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile- the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ ” God is not confined to the walls of a church building. God is omnipresent, and HIS sheep are the church, the members of the Body of Christ, and Christ’s bride whom HE is coming back to receive unto HIMSELF (Jeremiah 23:24; Proverbs 15:3; Matthew 18:20; Romans 12:4-5; Isaiah 54:5; Ephesians 5:22-33 emphasis on verse 32; John 14:3)! We are the temple of the living God. We are not God. God dwells IN us (1st Corinthians 3:16-17 NIV).
My prayer is that by our testimony, you will BELIEVE in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, 3 in 1. Leo is a witness of the decision I made and my lament. He is also a witness of what I am going through, my prayers, and the texts I have received. I testify of my feelings, prayers, the fact that there is physical distance between Micah and me, and that I made a decision (details not given at this time). Micah testifies of his dream of me and that he had no prior knowledge of my prayer or the fact that I was briefly physically nearby. This is a testimony of how I found God…In The Dream.
On a side note: For those of you who are curious, I did not give my son up for adoption. He was not taken away from me. I am not restricted from seeing or spending time with my son. He is not in some boy’s reform school. He is not in foster care or a group home. He is not with strangers. He is not in any physical danger. I did not give my son away. I did not kick him out of the house. He did not choose to move out. He did not choose to be where he is now, on a long-term basis. I am not an unfit mother. I am not on drugs or any addictive substance. I am no danger to my son.
Be and stay encouraged! God bless!