The day before yesterday, I was at work at a retail store and had gone to the stockroom. The stockroom is a place separate from the salesfloor where I can somewhat let my guard down and relax a bit because there are no customers back there, and the temperature is cooler compared to the hot salesfloor. As soon as I crossed the threshold where I no longer had to smile behind my facemask or be upbeat, my shoulders slumped. All of the pain from past emotional and sexual trauma that I’d tried so hard to mask came to the forefront of my mind and to my countenance. As I went to carry out a task in the stockroom, my thoughts began to flood my mind.
Dear Reader, as you know, this site is branded Looking For God #HEISEVERYWHERE, so allow me to share with you how I found God…in the stockroom.
The threshold was like a portal that transitioned me from energic and upbeat to relieved and relaxed to hurt and grieved. My movements went from quick to sluggish. There was no one back there but I…or so I thought.
In the stockroom, I expected to just be alone with my thoughts, the things my soul cried, but there was another part of me, a helper, that helps us when we cannot help ourselves. Each one of God’s children has HIS spirit in us, and that same spirit is of course closer to God than our soul is.
The following is the conversation that went on inside my head.
My Soul: *thinking about the trauma I’ve been through as well as life’s disappointments* “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. This hurts so bad! I never thought I’d be going through this. I don’t know what to do.”
My Spirit: “What do you expect from it?” (meaning compensation)
My Soul: *I never thought of that…* “What do I expect from it? …nothing.”
My Spirit: “Then why are you still holding onto it?”
My Soul: *gradually letting it go and releasing it to God*
This experience was eye-opening! God’s Spirit within me was giving me the medicine that I so badly needed! I’ve prayed for years for healing from different things only to have more painful experiences stack on top of already festering wounds. God had to shift my perspective and open my mind to a thought I’d never considered.
Did the painful, hurtful, traumatic experiences go away? No. They are still a part of my past. Did the person or people who hurt me apologize or make amends? No. Their apology, efforts to make amends, or the lack thereof are not tied to my healing. Did all the pain go away instantly? No, not quite. Each day, I find myself lighter and lighter, more and more free, smiling more and more, and just a little bit happier.
Speaking of happiness, it’s good to remember that happiness is based upon what’s happening. Therefore, it’s better to have joy which comes from the Lord. The world didn’t give joy, so let’s not allow the world to take it away.
You know something? No one and nothing can heal like God can. It seems like I’ve waited forever for my healing. The healing didn’t come when I wanted it to, but it sure was on time.
There is no place we can ever go where God can’t reach us, even if we’re at work…in the stockroom.
Thank you, Dear Readers and Loyal Followers and Subscribers! Below is Psalm 139 NKJV from Bible Hub. Please read it and lift your heart up to God in prayer in Christ Jesus’s name. You are appreciated!
Psalm 139 New King James Version
God’s Perfect Knowledge of Man
For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.
1O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3You [a]comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
4For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5You have [b]hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
7Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in [c]hell, behold, You are there.
9If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11If I say, “Surely the darkness shall [d]fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12Indeed, the darkness [e]shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13For You formed my inward parts;
You [f]covered me in my mother’s womb.
14I will praise You, for [g]I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15My [h]frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
19Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you [i]bloodthirsty men.
20For they speak against You wickedly;
[j]Your enemies take Your name in vain.
21Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22I hate them with [k]perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.