…In The Positioning

For those of you who are Believers in Christ Jesus and read God’s Word, you may have prayed that God would order your steps and direct your path (Psalm 37:23, 119:133). For those of you who are not Believers, you may have hoped to be at the right place at the right time. For everyone else, you may have believed that if you worked hard enough for something, you would get it, that if you showed up and did your part, you would receive your reward.

“X” marks the spot. We are positioned for photographs, positioned for promotion, positioned to receive news, and positioned to meet the needs of others. No matter where we want to be and why, there is a force-a power- bigger than ourselves that can move us into the position in which we are supposed to be.

Today is Wednesday, May 15, 2024, a day that I pray to always remember in vivid detail. We, as people, can want something so badly, but it is not until we let go and entrust it to God that HE will give it back to us better than we could have ever prayed to receive it. As I type this, I am fighting back tears. God is SO good!

Dear Reader,

If you are new here, I hope that you took the time to read my Message from the Author page. If you have been with me since the birth of this blog site in 2019 or joined the Looking For God #HEISEVERYWHERE family since then, you already know what is about to go down! I am about to tell you how God showed up and showed out in MY life!

You can call this part 3 if you have read In The Dream first and In a Signature Habit second.

Get your tissues ready and position yourself to receive my testimony of how I found God…In The Positioning!

So… In The Dream was written towards the end of 2021. In a Signature Habit was written in the beginning of 2022. Fast forward to today in 2024. I had not seen my only child in person, face-to-face since before his 15th birthday in June of 2021. I am not sure how to tell you any details about the situation without throwing a person under the bus, which I refuse to do, so I will paint the imperfect picture that ultimately points to God and HIS loving spirit.

From June 2021 to now, I have missed my son’s 15th, 16th, and 17th birthdays, 3 Christmases, 3 Mother’s Days, 3 Resurrection Days (Easters), 3 Valentine’s Days, all the other days that families gather, weekends, school breaks, 3 of my birthdays, celebrations of my certifications in Microsoft Office Specialist Word, PowerPoint, Excel, and Outlook, and celebrations of my General Office Assistant certificate, state gold SkillsUSA customer service medal and national bronze SkillsUSA medal with him. My son has missed the funeral of a loved one whose last Christmas gift he still has not received, birthday cards with checks in them, etc. We still do not know what is in the box that my aunt gave to Micah for Christmas before she passed. I was waiting for Micah to return and open it himself. (Pause to shed some tears)

My son and I are tight and very close with a great relationship. I am the type of parent that finds out who her child’s teachers are each school year, exchanges cell phone numbers with them, stays in touch, and partners with the school staff to make sure her child receives all the help he needs. I have advocated for my child in the school system and invested in his education in many ways, including financially. I have done a lot but will stop listing because my son’s life, as well as mine, changed forever the summer of 2021. I have not received a single progress report or report card since he has been gone. Can you imagine being so close to your child and then what you did not want to happen and what your child feared most happened? Can you imagine your child following you so closely that he literally walked on the back of your shoes and then he is gone? Can you imagine your child jumping in front of the door with a big, fat smile on his face and his arms open wide for a hug every time you got ready to leave home and then suddenly his room was empty? (Pause again to cry)

Our being apart was not our will. Releasing and entrusting my son, my child, my baby to God was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. Nobody BUT GOD has held me together (Colossians 1:17) over these years and kept me from losing my mind (Isaiah 26:3). I cannot tell you why some things happen, why things happen a certain way, why there is no undo button on painful life experiences, why some scars seem to never heal, why hearts break, why tears fall, or why evil seems to win, but I can tell you that God Almighty, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is bigger than anything we can EVER face AND HE ALWAYS WINS!!!

Now that some of the picture is painted, let me tell you that given the past few years, there was just concern about whether I would be able to see my son graduate high school. I did not receive an invitation. …I had to do research to find out when and where the graduation was being held. Let that sink in… Tickets were given out for the families of the graduating seniors, and I did not know how or if I would be able to get tickets for my parents and myself.

As the graduation drew nearer, I prayed and prayed even more, knowing at that time in my broken heart that if I could not see my only child graduate, I would not ever be able to recover. I did what I could without getting in God’s way or adding fuel to the fire of a very delicate situation. When I had done what I could by praying, asking those closest to me to pray, reaching out to my son, and asking him to pray and do what he could on his end, my prayer changed. I started praying that God would just give me peace and help me be content whether I got to see my son graduate or not. I am not ashamed to say that I believe in therapy AND the Word of God. It helps to talk through tough things with a professional, especially a fellow Believer in Christ Jesus. That being said, I scheduled a therapy appointment on graduation day so that if I could not make it, there would be someone there to help pick up my pieces and support me through such a time. I thank God for my best friend Catherine (She’s one of my best friends. I am blessed to have more than one best friend.) She prayed for me, encouraged me, and put something on my mind that I had not thought. She told me to put on my best Mama dress and show up for my beloved son’s graduation anyway, even if I do not get in, and wait for him afterwards just to show up for him. The thought blessed me. (Pause for more tears.) Let me tell you something, Readers. If you do not have someone in your life that knows the Lord, get one!

Today, Wednesday, May 15, 2024 was my ONLY child’s high school graduation. God is so faithful. HE gave me peace and contentment. Y’all…when I tell y’all that I was prepared to stand or sit outside of that church through graduation and WAIT on my baby to come out, I was ready for that.

Rewind. It is March 4, 2024, and I am drawing even closer to God. God drops in my spirit Ephesians 5:11 NLT which reads, “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” I texted this scripture in my Sunday school class text group and asked if there was a book out there that was a deep study on the whole armor of God and told them that the topic sounded like something Priscilla Shirer would have done a study on. My Sunday school teacher confirmed that Priscilla Shirer had in fact done a study on the subject. Ironically, that book is called Armor of God. lol Another member chimed in that Priscilla Shirer was coming to Hope Church on April 30th for an event called Fervent. (For those of you who do not know, Priscilla Shirer is the wife in the movie War Room and is the daughter of Pastor Tony Evans, Sr. of Texas. She is what I would call a “scripture beast” and she knows her Word! She is a phenomenal speaker, author and more! Fervent refers to prayer which Priscilla has written a book and a study about, called Fervent. The definition of “fervent” according to The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition, is as an adjective “having or showing great emotion or zeal; ardent.” So, when we refer to prayer as being fervent, that means we feel that thang!

The same wonderful lady who informed us about the event took it upon herself while going through health scares to buy enough tickets for all of us so that we would not miss the event. While we discussed how we would pay her back, she told us that God told her to give the tickets to us as a gift, no payback required. That was beautiful, AND the event happened to be on a day and time that I could attend with NO conflict. Spiritual clues were being dropped that I needed to be there. Things like this do not just HAPPEN.

When I realized that the event was taking place at the same place as my son’s graduation, I sensed that God’s hand was moving in a personal way.

I went to Fervent, enjoyed it, continuously prayed that God would make a way for me to attend my son’s graduation, that maybe some member or worker of the church would favor me on the day of graduation. I prayed that if nothing else, tickets would be left at the door for my parents and me. I had prayed fervently for months.

Fast forward to days before the big day. My parents and I decided we would show up for Micah with or without a ticket. We had not received any word that there would be tickets at the door for us, but it was confirmed that no one would get in without one.

Fast forward to graduation day, May 15, 2024. There was no plan but to speak to the gatekeeper about the situation and ask for entry or wait outside if we were not allowed entry without a ticket. Let me tell you what God did. My mom and I arrived first. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am a by-the-book kind of person, but I also have faith in God who is not confined by Man’s rules. With that being said, I noticed that everyone was walking straight through the first set of doors and that no one was asking for tickets, so I told my mom to come on and we walked through. There was a second set of doors with gatekeepers taking tickets. Countdown announcements were made for the doors to shut disallowing further entry. I thought to myself, “How can they close the doors on people who have tickets with still so many people herding to get in?” I said a silent prayer as I approached one gatekeeper, “Come on, God,” and asked the man, “Are there any tickets on hold for us? It’s three of us” and told him my son’s name. Before I could finish speaking the man placed two tickets in my hand. My jaw must have dropped. Then I said, “My dad is coming! He’s parking,” knowing that my dad could not hurry due to health problems. The man at the second set of doors said, “Don’t worry. I got him.” I could have shouted right there! We hurried through and I praised God! My mom was in aw because it was truly an impossible situation that only God could fix.

We found decent-enough seats, but a sudden urge to use the restroom came over me. I left for the restroom and noticed a blocked-off area of the lobby where guests weren’t allowed. Then it dawned on me. That was where the graduating class would enter. The graduation would be starting soon! I rushed to complete my mission and was back in the lobby heading to take my seat when I noticed that a couple of people were waiting to watch the class march from the back through the lobby and into the church’s auditorium. Wow. What a moment. What a chance to see my baby up close and before he became a distant figure on stage. God positioned me right outside of the women’s restroom alongside the ropes.

Hope was building in a place called Hope where Fervent happened.

I was searching every child’s face for my son. The line seemed to go on forever. I asked one of the passing seniors, “What letter are you on?” “The ‘S’s,'” a young lady responded. My son, Micah, recognized me before I could comprehend that I was looking at my son. (Pause for tears) “Ma!” …No words… Absolutely no words could truly capture the depth of the emotion in that moment. We sprinted to each other and hugged, squeezed, and held each other across the ropes for the longest time. The seniors continued their march and pace, but for us, time stood still. (Pause for even more tears)

As I said earlier, I was prepared to wait outside, content knowing that my son knew I would be there looking for him when it was all over, but I was not prepared for God to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all I could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20-21 New King James Version). It was not that I thought God could not do it but rather I did not know what would happen. Talk about a walk-by-faith-not-by-sight situation (2nd Corinthians 5:7)! However, The Holy Bible says of God in the New International Version of Psalm 25:3, “No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.” The New Living Translation says, “No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.” The King James Version, “Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.”

We stood there, gripping each other, after nearly 3 solid years, and I gave myself permission to cry-ugly cry- and praise God for what HE had done! I told my son, “I TOLD you that NOTHING could keep me from your graduation. God A-L-W-A-Y-S comes through!” Through blurred vision, I could see the faces of steadily marching seniors caught by the raw emotion and shameless praise of God. Surely, the day meant something to everyone, but no one but the Holy Trinity, my son, and I knew what our hearts had endured.

The Lord God allowed me to not only see my son graduate but video record his name being called and him receiving his diploma! The graduating class was about 302 students with each student receiving 7 tickets for family and friends. Imagine the crowd.

Fast forward to outside of the building. People were pouring out of the building. We weren’t sure where the graduates were exiting. It turned out to be 3 different exits with each exit on a different section of the building where one could not be seen from the other. It would take a miracle to find my son, especially without his cell phone on him. (The students were not allowed their cell phones during the ceremony.) I started to think God fixed things so that I could see and hug Micah before the ceremony because the chances of finding him afterwards were slim. I put my dad on one exit, my mom on another exit, and I took the exit where I was told the graduates would exit, all in an effort to locate my son and make sure he saw his grandparents, his grandparents saw him, and that he received his graduation gifts.

I stood for the longest time until no more seniors seemed to exit then searched along the sidewalks and parking lot. Still, no Micah. Then, I walked back toward the doors, trusting that God would draw Micah and me to the same spot once again. Guess what…God positioned me in the path of my son. We both looked weary, thinking we’d missed each other and that the overdue embrace from earlier was it for now. This time, I noticed him before he noticed me. His countenance affected me like any loving parent’s heart would be if he or she saw sadness upon his or her child’s face. Then, he saw me and lit up! We hugged again, but watching my son hug and squeeze my mom almost brought me to tears again. We recorded videos of the hugs and celebration and took pictures. Today truly felt like a day that the Lord had made. God did a mighty big thing today. HE made the impossible possible, reunited a family, answered the prayers of many, showed everyone involved who is in control (God is), and strengthened faith and hope inside of His children.

We wanted to but could not extend the celebration to a restaurant or even spend as much time with him as we wanted. My baby boy was starting to get upset by being rushed after not seeing his mom and maternal grandparents for almost three years, but continuing to rear him in the LORD (Proverbs 22:6), I reminded him of God’s Word, speaking of honor (Ephesians 6:2) and obedience (Ephesians 6:1) and humility (James 4:10). Hugging him, I reassured him that it is alright, everything is going to be alright, and that God has us.

I am excited for my son’s 18th birthday next month. I may not get to be present for that either, but things will certainly be different afterwards!

That was a lot of information, I know, but did you see how God used someone in my Sunday school class to position me (free of charge) where my son would graduate? It was as if the Lord God was saying, “I will bring you to the place where your son will graduate, and just as I granted you access to Fervent, I will grant you access to graduation.” What a mighty God we serve! Even when I don’t see it, He’s working! He made me a promise in the spirit, unbeknownst to me, and kept it! My Heavenly Father did not only grant me access TO Fervent but also granted me access IN fervent prayer, and faith was the key (Hebrews 11:6). Did you see how God positioned my friend Catherine to speak a word of encouragement so that I would go to the graduation by faith WITHOUT a ticket? Did you see how God positioned me in front of the very gatekeeper who had the envelop with the tickets in his hand for my parents and me? Did you see how God positioned me outside of the restroom right by where my son would pass (out of two different lines of seniors on opposite sides, by the way)? Did you see how God positioned me to stand in my son’s path outside in a crowd of hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people and find him when it seemed all graduates had already exited the building? Do you see how the Most High God positioned you to be right here, right now, reading this blog post and causing the wheels in your head to turn and/or your emotions to flow? Yes, you were meant to be here. I do not know, Beloved, where you have been looking for God, but I can say by faith with confidence that we both found God…In The Positioning.

Please enjoy one of my favorite worship songs, one of which I worshipped God to on the drive to my one and only son’s graduation! On Time God from the Woman Evolve 2023 Women’s Conference. Guess what. God positioned me in Arlington, Texas at that very conference in that very room as they sang this song to remind me that He’s never late and that nothing is impossible for Him or to them that believe. God bless.