…In Confession

I sit here at my computer trying to figure out how to make my heart reach yours with my words. If I am able to find the words to express what is on my heart in this post, my face will surely be drenched in tears by the end of this. It is never with careless effort that I come to you in these posts but with reverence to God, praying for guidance on how to properly handle His people and anyone who may look for Him.

We are spirit, and we did not start here in the physical realm. However, along this life’s journey, we learned to want things, yearn for things. Some of those things became our heart’s desires. We might have imagined what our lives would be like without those desires but decided that to live without them would just be unacceptable. Then, we started to put prices on those things and bargain within ourselves on what we would give to have them. Each person knows the price they would give, if we are honest, but can I tell you that some prices are too costly?

Dear Reader,

If you have followed my blog site long enough, read only a few of my posts, or read only the Message from the Author page, then you know this space is for those who are looking for God. Those looking for God could be anyone- saved or not. Don’t we all look for something greater than ourselves for answers, guidance, understanding, clarity, revelation, blessings, protection, comfort, and help at some point? When we have tried everything we could try, done all we could do, thought of everything we could think of, said all we could say, and come to the end of ourselves, don’t we take chances?

The word chance currently has ten definitions of the noun according to dictionary.com. The third definition says, “a possibility or probability of anything happening: a fifty-percent chance of success.” When we take a chance, we know that a number of things can happen. In our minds, we may argue that the matter can either go left or right, but our minds are limited to what we know, experienced, heard, or were exposed. Many times, our minds are so fixed on the physical and practical that we forget about the spiritual implications that turn chance into its sixth definition which means “a risk or hazard.” Look how quickly things changed. That’s how quickly we can find ourselves outside of the will of God! Let that marinate.

When the probability of something happening turns into a risk and we acknowledge it, we may find ourselves wrestling with temptation if we want the thing bad enough. Sometimes we calculate the risks trying to rationalize what could happen if it goes wrong and if we can take it. Sometimes we feel pressured into taking the risk. Sometimes the risks nag at us for a long time, whispering to us, “What if…” when how we have been doing things just isn’t working for us. It is possible that at our weakest points we have foolishly tried to negotiate and bargain with God concerning sin, “If I just do this until I get married, I won’t be sinning anymore,” “If I just cut corners until I get the promotion, I won’t have to worry about this anymore,” or “If I just cushion the numbers until this quarter or fiscal year is over, all this will be behind us soon.” Whatever our risk or potential hazard is, that is exactly what it is- a risk. A risk is defined as, “exposure to the chance of injury or loss; a hazard or dangerous chance: It’s not worth the risk.” Do you see how a chance started off neutral “the possibility of anything happening” then tipped the scales toward a chance of “injury or loss; a hazard or dangerous chance”? What happened? What happened was we stepped out of the will of God.

You may be wondering where I am going with all this talk about desires, chances, and risks, but can I share with you a scripture? The twenty-third verse of the fourth chapter of the Book of Proverbs from the Holy Bible. This scripture is so powerful and relevant that I must offer you several versions of it!

“Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” New King James Version

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” King James Version

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” English Standard Version

“Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow springs of life.” Berean Standard Bible

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” New Living Translation

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” New International Version

All these are true! If we look at our heart like a garden that nurtures whatever is in it, it won’t take long to figure out that if we are not proactive and vigilant against spiritual weeds, those weeds will spring forth into areas of our lives and choke out what started as good intentions or what was meant to be good. Lord, help us! How many times have we heard, said, or thought when something went wrong, “Well, my heart was in the right place”? That is to say we had good intent though things did not turn out well. There is a saying that “the road to hell is paved with good intentions,” but I like how Jack Ashcraft more accurately wrote in his article on Christianity.com that the road to hell is paved with sin that may have started with good or bad intentions.

The Father of Lies is not an amateur at manipulation. Unfortunately, no mercy is shown to us from him no matter how good, sweet, innocent, and well-meaning we think we are. The gloves are off! That said, Satan has no hesitation in deceiving us into seeking something good and honorable through sinful acts. That is where the confusion enters. We argue “…but this is not a bad thing to want! It’s good!” It may be good; it could even be instituted by God but not how we’re going about it- outside the will of God. You may have heard the saying, “God is not the author of confusion.” I think it is safe to say that if there is anything confusing about what is happening, what you are witnessing, what you are being told, or what you are hearing or feeling, it is a great idea to check it against the Word of God! In fact, check all things against the Word of God. Test the spirits (1st John 4:1-6). Don’t keep going like the mole in the Whac-a-Mole game, relentlessly popping your head up in Godless situations to see what it is like! Lord Jesus, help us!

Beloved, I cannot give you this advice without testifying. There are some things I have wanted since my youth, good things, honorable things, blessed things from God, but I have not been consistent in seeking those things God’s way. I confess that I have been extremely impatient and practiced very little patience my whole life. It is a flaw of mine that has all but destroyed me. Side Note: This is where the tears come. I have tried the world’s way more times and in more ways than I ever stuck with God concerning these particular things I want that are near and dear to my heart. I have had to confess idolatry to the Holy Trinity (God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit). It was not easy admitting to God that I did not trust Him like I should in that particular area of my life. Of course, I felt like a hypocrite sharing how much I trust God in every area of my life but the areas I still wanted to control.

Last year, I came to a very shattering realization when I was honest with myself in saying, “I’m too good at breaking my own heart.” Take all the time you need to cry right here for me and for yourself if you felt that; I did.

Stubbornness put me in the mindset of, “If I can’t have it when I want it, then I don’t want it.” That was the wrong attitude, and I still need God’s help.

Circling back to Proverbs 4:23, the New Living Translation and New International Version of the scripture hit me like a Mack truck when I read them! It explained everything and put me in a state of mourning. Oh, how like the children of Israel I have circled this same mountain so many times only to have parts of me die off! At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that some prices are too costly to pay for what we want. Anything that costs us our fellowship with God, spiritual health, peace, and dignity is too high. We may slip into the drunk haze of false promises, but we have to come to ourselves like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-31) came to himself (verse 17) when he reached an uncomfortable low.

Can I speak to the people who have found out what is lower than rock bottom? We didn’t know it was possible, but just like we didn’t know we could go lower, we didn’t truly know that God could reach us that far until we fell. I love you for getting back up. You are not alone. No matter how cliché that may sound, it is true. You are not alone! However, we have to make the climb out of the pit through faithful obedience trusting that God is who He says He is, will do what He said He will do, and cares about our individual situations. I know it may be difficult to believe that our problems matter in the grand scheme of things or that God will take the time to give us the things we want that may be trivial on a larger scale. However, think of Father God as a parent. Even when our children, nieces, nephews, mentees, or youth we care about misbehave, we still love them and want to give them good things though they may have delayed those things. I do not have it all together all the time, but believe me when I say that EVERY time I have truly repented (turned from sin) and surrendered, not repeated, God IMMEDIATELY showered me with blessings and open doors of opportunity to me that were previously shut! God is faithful! There is a difference between slipping and regaining your footing, and falling and choosing to live in a fallen state. It reminds me of when Jesus asked the man who had been in his condition for 38 years and lying by the pool of Bethesda (John 5:1-15), “Wilt thou be made whole?” In other words, “Do you want to be made whole” or are you not sick and tired of being sick and tired of your situation yet?

Scripture says there was a multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting. Many of us are spiritually sick, blind to our sin and its effects, lame unable to walk upright and fully in our calling, and paralyzed from fear. Jesus, help us! My prayer is that we all find freedom from our spiritual chains of bondage (John 8:31-36), whatever they may be, find contentment in godliness (1 Timothy 6:6-11), confess our sins, and pray for each other’s healing (James 5:16). May the Lord give you spiritual discernment to know who to share your burdens with and have pray for you. May you heal completely and not reenter sickness. May you find peace and contentment in doing and living in the will of God so that no sin can tempt you. May your walk be blameless in the eyes of God and Man. May you prosper even as your souls prosper. May you find peace within to walk in peace and declare the goodness of God. May you release your spiritual burdens to the Lord Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30) and find rest for your souls. May you come to yourself like the Prodigal Son, and may you look for God and find Him…In Confession. In Jesus’s holy and saving name. Amen.

P.S. You may still be hurting after the “Amen,” but keep your faith in God in your situation, even if your faith is only the size of a mustard seed. May you find joy, peace, and contentment in the wait and process.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1st John 1:9

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,
but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Proverbs 28:13

“Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.’
And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” Psalm 32:5

“When anyone becomes aware that they are guilty in any of these matters, they must confess in what way they have sinned.” Leviticus 5:5

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” Acts 3:19

“We have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws.” Daniel 9:5

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:23-24

“Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” James 4:8

“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” 1st Timothy 6:12

“No one who denies the Son has the Father; whoever acknowledges the Son has the Father also.” 1st John 2:23

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Galatians 5:16

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:10-12